Sorrows of the Rain
by Aquaheart
Summary: Konan and Pain have always been together, their bond only strengthened by each-other. This became more-so after Yahiko's death. KonanxPain Lime


Who would count the days? The hours? Even the seconds? Who would look so aimlessly at the down-pouring sky and think? Who would do that?

A young woman with cobalt blue hair and deep amber eyes rested her gaze on a pair of trees somewhere far from her reach. The sodden leaves dragged the branches down as the precipitation continued. There was no relenting now.

Her form shivered, though only in the slightest; she enjoyed the rain. It reminded her of her home, which she had left so long ago. She couldn't bear the thought of returning to the Hidden Rain village now, not with all that she had gone through. She let her mind wander for just a moment and the image that filled her mind was of a smiling orange-haired ninja.

"Yahiko, where are you?" she murmured softly to herself.

The creaking of a door brought her attention behind her. The same image that had appeared in her mind now stood before her. The young man's shock of orange hair was accentuated by hard eyes, which were flat and empty. He shut the door behind him and walked towards her. Konan gave no word of greeting to him and he, none to her. That was the way it had always been.

She glided towards him, ever so slowly, her eyes never leaving his face. She took in the eternally purple-ringed irises and tall, bulky build. Her amber eyes wavered when he leaned down to kiss her hungrily. Her hands found leverage on his shoulders as the kiss intensified. Hands roamed her body and soon hers were buried deep in brightly colored hair. She began to tug on it subconsciously. He gave a sound that sounded like pain, but she knew better. They entwined themselves deeper together and she pulled on his head all the while.

It was always rough, relentless and painfully so. But she didn't mind. She needed him more than he needed her. He could make her feel, even if only pain. She detached her lips from his long enough to unzip her cloak and let it fall to the ground. He did the same with a sense of familiarity. His gaze travelled over to her form. Without the cloak, her body was undeniably luscious, only accented by her revealing outfit. He wore the standard fish-net shirt and black pants while her backless shirt-dress left little to the imagination. It was obscene, but she still wore clothes.

Ever so slowly he rid himself of the shirt as he led her to the bed. She obliged willingly, just as she had each night. He paused long enough to stroke her hair and she flinched away. It wasn't the soft, gentle caresses that kept her sanity bound to her soul. She needed something that would allow the numbness to ebb away and there was only one way she had found successful.

She pulled off her own outfit and settled beneath the sheets, waiting for a feeling, any feeling. He however, was not so patient and began harshly endowing her with kisses. It was always hurtful. Too much teeth and scratching, not enough love. But she was content with that, enjoyed it, even and responded with just as much vigor. His pants were gone now, lost in the trail of clothes around the bed and Konan began to feel the darkness settling back in. There was nothing to block out the droning nothingness. There was nothing to fill the void. Ever since Yahiko had died, she had felt this emotion of _nothing. _This alone had contributed to her apathetic demeanor. One who knew her however, would know better.

She waited for the pain that would never come as they melded into one. His movements were smooth and regular for a moment. A second later and she began to _feel. _Their copulation was nothing more than that, simple and mindless. They both let their instincts take over and waited for the final result.

A memory unveiled itself behind Konan's eyes, one of longing and hope. It was from a long time ago.

"_Don't lose hope, Konan. Don't ever lose hope," a smiling young boy told her. _

"_And why is that?" she asked with mock curiosity, grinning at the shockingly orange haired ninja. _

"_Because when you lose hope, you begin to feel empty inside. You can't move forward without ambition," he smiled. _

He had told her to never lose hope because that would lead to the loss of feeling. Without motivation, one could never move forward. That was what he had told her. And how odd it was that the very boy that had told her this was currently hovered over her. It was too bad the soul of the boy was not in the body of course. This body now belonged to the one known as Pain. He controlled the movements of the deceased ninja so it could hardly be called Yahiko now.

It was these actions that she was currently feeling. He was so domineering and insistent that it made it impossible for Konan to yield to her thoughts. It was through this that she was able to exist. The fleeting moments where her mind was taken away, these moments made living bearable. He began moving rougher and she retaliated by digging her nails into his back. Each movement brought her more feelings and soon, unbeknownst to her, her knuckles had turned white. She was gripping him hard enough to draw blood, but he didn't care. The pain was a feeling. She always wanted to know if what she was experiencing, he was experiencing too. But in order to know, that would cost words, and during this time, the price was high. And so she remained quiet.

More mindless and pure instinct. He was driving into her with a force that was enough to drag a yelp from her, but he knew that she wasn't satisfied. She wanted, no, needed, to feel. She needed more than a blunt force and so he attacked her lips again, distracting her from the other sensations as he disengaged them. The battle began once more as she tried to gain dominance. This was the part that he had been waiting for. The more she fought back, the easier it would be to make her feel. He pressed his weight onto her, forcing her into submission. But the fiery kunoichi would have none of it and pressed herself closer to him, her hands now tangled in his hair once more as she attempted to gain the upper hand. He bit her lip gently, warning her. She retaliated by twisting his hair in her hands. He bit her again, this time, hard enough to draw blood and the metallic taste filled both of their mouths.

He was the one to let her go first. He didn't require air as she did and he knew that she might have just kept fighting until she fainted. A quick moment and an intake of breath was all it took for her to regain her oxygen. She initiated the kiss this time, forcing him onto his back for a short period of time before he realized what had happened. At this realization, he grabbed her arms and pulled her down in one jerky movement. Her arms were pinned above her as he continued the abuse. Konan still didn't mind. At least she could feel. The heat stifling between them was enough to drive her insane and she began to thrash around, which slightly daunted the man. He shifted until he was pressing his weight on top of her and she slowly relented, her movements slowing.

Her movement stilled, he began to focus on her jugular, placing hot, needy kisses on her neck. She could feel the heat, a good thing. It was always necessary for her to feel. His ministrations became harder, more persistent and soon, she succumbed to him. Her whole body was under his control now and she was merely experiencing.

A gasp was wretched from her lips as he joined them once more. This essence of feeling was finally taking its hold. There was a force driving him now. It seemed that he had enough of letting her feel. He had needs too, and it was his time to satisfy them. She gave no rejection or hesitation, not even turning away. She trusted this man enough to give him her whole self. The lust that overcame them took them to new heights. It was animalistic and inhuman. They weren't making love; they were copulating in an unrealistic way. No, there wasn't enough passion for that. Love and lust were two very different things. What they had did not even come close to love.

The body gave a yell and she followed with a muted scream. He collapsed beside her, breathing erratically for a moment. Though her heart was thudding in her chest, Konan managed to regulate her breathing. It was then that he turned away from her, just as he did every night. She turned until her back was to him and closed her eyes. This was the way it was every night. This was how it had been for the longest time. No words were exchanged, no confessions made, nothing. And that was how Konan preferred it. Frivolous things such as love were to play no part in her coition with the male beside her. She simply needed to _feel _and he allowed her to do that. So why was he with her? It was as much the same purpose as her, she inferred. A few minutes later, both were asleep, though what their dreams brought one could only guess.

-o0o-

She awoke the next morning still naked and dragged her hands over the bed, grabbing her cloak and outfit. He was still asleep beside her, as he always was, and she stowed away to her bathroom. She did her morning routine; brushing her teeth and taking a shower. By the time she emerged, he had gone, his clothes too, pick off from the ground. Her bed was still in a state of disarray and she headed over to fix it. Thus was the morning routine.

Konan made her way down the kitchen for breakfast and encountered a sleepy-looking Deidara.

"Morning," he smirked at her as he opened the fridge in search of a suitable breakfast.

"Morning," she replied flatly as she grabbed an orange.

The blonde shinobi pulled out a carton of milk and poured himself a glass. After chugging its contents, he replaced the carton and looked at the blue-haired kunoichi, one eyebrow raised inquisitively.

"What?" she asked passively as she peeled her orange.

"You know how thin the walls are, right?" he replied, still staring at her.

"Yes," she responded, still devoid of emotion.

"So when are you gonna let me have some fun?" at this he smirked and his gaze on her became more perverse.

"I'm sorry, I'm not interested in women," she answered coolly, pausing to take a bite of a slice of orange.

The amber-eyed kunoichi was not wearing her cloak and so her rather revealing outfit was putting her body on display. Being only nineteen, Deidara's interest in her physical attributes could be understood. However, this did not rouse her and he stood with his mouth gaping.

"I'm a guy! You hear? One hundred percent male!" he cried indignantly.

Konan bit off another slice of orange, chewed, and swallowed it before responding.

"Right," it was neither sarcasm nor confirmation. She merely stated it.

Deidara had turned a light shade of red, the anger prominent on his pale features. It was not until she threw him a death glare that he seemed to simmer down. The last time he had angered the blue-haired woman, he hadn't been able to perform any jutsu for a week.

"I want to eat my breakfast in peace," she told him simply.

"Fine, but I'm serious. How can you expect me to get any sleep with the racket you and Pain make? Honestly, at least let me in on the action!" he whined.

"I'm not sure that Nagato is interested in men. However, you can ask him," there was sarcasm in her voice now.

"What? How? I mean- That's not-" he stammered to find the right words, all the while, Konan sat, eating her orange.

It was her turn to smirk now and as she finished the last of her orange, she waited for Deidara to form a coherent thought.

"Go find a prostitute then because I am not one," she finally said once she realized that he wasn't going to be answering any time soon.

Deidara was left in the kitchen as Konan swept out of the kitchen with an easy grace.

-o0o-

She entered the training grounds and found Kisame already there. He was currently kicking at a punching bag and only turned around once it had fallen off the stand.

"Do you want to spar? My tai-jutsu needs some practice," she asked.

The blue male looked at her for a moment before picking up the punching bag and throwing it aside.

"Sure," he replied.

The two engaged in close-range combat, something that neither was accustomed to. Fighting without chakra was entirely different from using jutsu and thus, constantly needed to be maintained. Konan hadn't sparred with anyone for a long time and her coordination was evident of that. They traded blows and Kisame seemed to be improving with each kick or jab. She knew of his high energy reserves and even more dangerous chakra levels and it was for this reason that she had chosen him to spar with.

After what felt like hours later, Konan finally decided to call a break. She walked uneasily over to the bench and sat down, her head in her hands as she waited for the pounding to stop.

"Hey, you ok?" the blue man asked her.

"Fine. Just a little dizzy," she answered.

"Have some water," he stated and with a quick hand seal, conjured up a bubble of liquid.

It drifted over to her and she managed to swallow it, an interesting feat that had been accomplished before.

"Thanks," she replied.

"What'd you have to eat this morning?" he asked.

"An orange, why?" she wanted to know.

"You probably don't feel too good since you don't have enough electrolytes in your system. Grab something salty on your way in," he suggested.

"Will do," she responded and stood up to walk inside.

By the time she had walked inside, her legs were shaking so badly that she had to grip the table for support. She opened a bag of potato chips and began shoveling them into her mouth.

_Having an intense workout without enough energy to burn, bad idea. _She thought.

Once the salt hit her system, her head began to clear and the room stopped spinning. Then a figure strode into the kitchen and she turned to face him.

"Hello, Konan," the Deva Path greeted.

"Hi," She replied weakly.

"Are you alright?" he asked, eyeing the bag of chips that she was currently devouring.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just over worked myself is all," she answered.

"Right then," came his placid response.

The routine was always the same. They would act like nothing had happened, but a few hours later when the sun went down, the cycle would repeat itself.

"I need to speak to Zetsu. I shall see you later," he told her and she nodded in response.

The day passed quickly after that and Konan was soon standing on her balcony once more, waiting for the sun to go down. The setting sun left a golden array streaking through the skies and the clouds were tinged pink. Even in the waning light, Konan could not find a reason to smile. The sunsets brought memories of Yahiko.

"You did not tell me that you had been crying," the familiar voice called behind her.

"I haven't been. What gave you that notion?" she asked, incredulous.

The Deva Path made his way over to her. She noted this quietly because she could never decide on what to call the being before her. It certainly couldn't be Nagato or even Yahiko. She supposed it could be Pain, but being as that was Nagato's alias that also didn't seem pertinent. And so, this being became known as the Deva Path.

"You are crying on the inside. That's what matters," he stated blankly.

"Perhaps," she answered and crossed the threshold to his side.

He held out his arms to her and she fell into them, almost lovingly. It was the first time that words had ever been exchanged at this hour.

"Crying means sorrow or grief. Those are emotions," she tried to justify herself

At this he pulled her away, his eyes hard. Konan looked up at him, her eyes betraying confusion as well as acceptance. His gaze softened as he bent down to place a kiss upon her lips. Her instincts took over and she immediately tried to bring it to something more, but he didn't linger and pulled away.

"Each night, I do things your way, but tonight will be different. We will do things my way," he told her as he saw the look of confusion on her face once more.

Konan wanted to give a sharp reply, saying that it was he who had his way with her every night and not the other way around. However, she had already been through too much with him to defy him now so she merely nodded. He led her into another kiss and wrapped his arm around her, tentatively easing her backless suit off of her. The next moment was a blur and Konan soon found herself under his body.

"Do you wish to feel, Konan? Is that why you do this?" he asked, fixing his Rinnegan on her.

"Yes," she whispered scarcely. She felt as if she couldn't breathe under his intent gaze.

"You that you will feel more this night that you have any other. That, I can promise you," he told her warmly.

At this, the blue haired kunoichi wanted to squirm away. It wasn't love that she wanted. She didn't want the affections of her partner, no, that would be too much. Nonetheless, he seemed to pay her no attention as he began tracing the contours of her face with his lips. It was a moment before he allowed his lips to press against hers and the sensation that came with it surprised the woman. This was so different from what she was used to. She was used to ruthlessness and hurt. She was used to let-downs and grievances. This feeling was so tender and gentle. It reminded her of being a kid.

She gave a gasp of surprise as he flipped her onto her back. A moment later, well practiced hands were massaging her shoulders. She sighed at the new feeling. His fingers were calloused and rough, yet with they felt like silk against her tense muscles. He made no hurry with his work, making sure to carefully unknot each muscle before moving onto the next. The pure _slowness _of the process made Konan want to cry out, but she held back. Good things came to those who wait and she trusted the promise that was made to her. Instead, she took a deep breath and before she could even register what she was saying, a name escaped her lips.

"Yahiko,"

The hands on her back did not cease, instead, they kept up their meticulous work. After what felt like an eternity of bliss, the hands on the kunoichi's back stopped their ministrations. She turned and gave him a grateful look before wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

"It was nothing. How do you feel?" he asked.

"Very relaxed," she answered truthfully.

He didn't reply as he captured her lips with his. It was much more sensual than any of their previous kisses. There seemed to be passion in this. It was another emotion that Konan had never experienced before. A moment later, he extracted himself from her and pushed her back to the bed so that she was lying down.

"You will see that there are other feelings other than lust and need," he murmured into her ear.

This time, the feeling was mutual. His movements were neither ruthless nor mindless. They were caught up in a moment of passion and sensitivity. Konan had never experienced such a feeling when she was with him before. Before, where it had been fast paced and angry, it was now endearing and meaningful.

_He was right. _Konan thought with much difficulty. _I can feel so much more. _

And with that he breathed her name. A second of blinding bright light later and she called out Nagato's name as well. As he lay down beside her, his breath coming out in pants, she couldn't help but wonder what it was that made that moment so different.

"You said Yahiko's name earlier," he stated.

"It's because I never know who to call you," she answered truthfully. "Are you the Deva Path, the body of my friend Yahiko? The being that is the social outlet of Nagato? Are you Pain? The man who is regarded as a god and I his angel? Are you Nagato? My best friend and partner? The man who grew up from the little boy that I found in the rain? Or are you Yahiko?" her voice faltered on his name. "My oldest friend, my confident, and my former lover?" she asked.

He remained quiet for a moment, seeming to ponder her question. When he finally spoke, he was sure of his decision.

"I am whoever you want me to be," he told her, placing a kiss on her lips.

"Then so be it," she solemnly, pressing close to him, her savior.

**A/N: **Just a very angsty piece of work. Let me know what you think!


End file.
